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Pig Picking

Fishing Reports from Captain Brian Horsley and Captain Sarah Gardner
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Pig Picking

Postby bhorsley » Fri Oct 28, 2016 5:15 pm

The True Secret Order of False Albacorian Monks
**Making America Great since 1488**
Cordially Expects You to Attend
The 528th False Albacore Unity and Togetherness Banquet
—Co-hosted this Year by Monk Trump and Monk Hillary—
Saturday, November 5, 2016, at 6:30 PM

Just when tarpon fishing had begun to wane in the Florida Keys, and when bonefishing had become passé, along came the false albacore to save the day! It is now clear to all Americans that the albacore is the fish that saved American flyfishing.

After the recent HurriKaine Matthew, most people wouldn't have bet a six Pence that the annual celebration of America's greatest fish would take place. After a unanimous vote, the Monks declared that the annual banquet will go on uninterrupted! Monk Trump said it best: “We are stronger together when we all protect the magnificent false albacore." Monk Hillary added: “It is the fish that made America great again.”

The Monks have succeeded as an Order for more than 500 years because of their motto: "Never political, always united.” This unity is shown in the long, enduring friendship of Monk Trump and Monk Hillary, co-hosts of this year's banquet. During their decades-long friendship, Monk Hilary has never deleted a single email from Monk Trump from her private server. Monk Trump has also inspired Monk Hillary by his life of humility, poverty and chastity. Working together, Monks Hillary and Trump have pledged to work for full employment of all fishing guides and to produce solar-powered fly fishing boats for all Americans.

Unfortunately, one monk has been banned from this year's banquet—Monk Ras Putin. Putin was recently caught hacking Monk Hillary’s email server, and stealing fly patterns. While everyone else will be “Putin on the Ritz” at this year's banquet, Ras Putin will be eating three-day-old shrimp in the monastery.

As always, all politicians—local, state and federal—will be turned away at the door. This banquet is paid for by the Monks Politeness Action Committee, “Albacore PAC – 2016.”

Saturday, November 5, 2016, at 6:30 PM
1576 Island Road, Harkers Island, NC
Again, the monks have chosen as your humble hosts:
Dana Jennings and Tom Earnhardt
The Jones Brothers’ Marine Gang and Barbecue Chef Fritz “Chuck” Linder
Menu: Eastern North Carolina Barbecue, Free Range Chicken, Carteret Native Banana Pudding
Dress Code: Pressed and starched fishing casual
BYOBB: Bring your own beer and boat

growing old ain't for sissies

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